Dear Depression:

*Disclosure* 

I do not have depression, but the person I love and live with does.  It has been a journey filled of learning, and this letter I am about to write and share is my outlet.  This is really personal to me 😉

Dear Depression:

You really suck, you know that!  There are days when you eat him alive.  Days where you suck the soul out of him, and days I see the sparkle in his eyes disappear completely.

There are days when a person is so low that they can’t make it out of bed, and then there are days when agitation sets in, and self doubt comes into view.  On those days, whatever words are said, it will not get out of his head.

Depression affects everyone.  It affects those that have it the most.  That battle of just getting through each and every day that comes their way.  That is their focus.  That is their desire.  That battle within their head that is experienced.  Depression affects the loved ones of those that have depression.  Because, we are human, and alls we want is to see our loved ones not suffer, but with depression, no matter what is said, no matter what is done, you just have to wait until they come out of it.  What happens if they never come out of it?

Depression is a cycle.  Since I have come to know, live, and love him.  I recognize his cycles.  On the days he gets super hyper and energetic, I enjoy those moments because I know by the next day he will be crashing.  And on those days, I become extra loving, and patient, and kind.  Being able to recognize a cycle helps me prepare myself for the days ahead.

As I write this, I wonder if there are other loved ones out there that watch theirs battle with depression.  I’d love to talk to you, hear your story, and what you struggle with.  In writing this letter, it is my way of reaching out to others like me.

A month ago I finally went to the bookstore to buy a couple of books to become a more understanding partner, to become more patient, and to hear from others who have loved ones with depression.  I recognized in myself that it was affecting me too.   However, truly admitting it to myself was the hard part.

And then there’s the medication.  I honestly feel that the battle with medication and depression is endless.  For years a certain medication could work, but then it’s no longer working because the body has gotten use to it, so a person gets switched to a new medication and from there it’s a process of finding the right ones.  It’s truly trial and error.  And it’s like a person comes dependent on the doctor subscribing the meds, and if the doctor ever forgets to send a prescription in, that week or two could truly be hell for the person waiting.  *disclosure* I am no doctor or medical personnel, this is just my insight through observation.

Dear Depression:

YOU SUCK!